My Story

Contemplating Suicide: The Confessions Of A Struggling Network Marketer (Warning – GRAPHIC)

THIS IS A TRUE STORY – MY STORY

In February of 2009, I sat at a restaurant eating a bowl of sweet bar-b-que chicken wings and a side of cheese fries, contemplating “suicide.”

For the first time in my life I was seriously thinking about leaving the network marketing industry once and for all. I was mentally out on the ledge looking down over the world of this crazy industry, and my foot hold was not very good.

My eyes watered as I sat there and thought about all of the B.S. that I had endured over the last few years for the sake of my “business”:

-Standing in hotel lobbies staring at the parking lot hoping for that superstar prospect to show – that never did.
-Talking to everyone that I knew and putting those life-long relationships in jeopardy because they either couldn’t say no to me, or said yes and really didn’t mean it, causing them to feel guilt which ultimately lead to them going into “witness protection.”
-Promising my wife month after month that things would turn around as she watched me pull our bank account into the negative trying to fund a stupid product order or buy a function ticket
-Getting commission checks that were so embarrassing that I would not have wanted to compare it to the guy who was cutting my lawn (sometimes he made 2 ½ times more than me on one lawn!)
-Going to major events and getting “fired up” on Sunday, just to wake up on Monday to realize that nothing had really changed in my business; same crap, different day.

I could hardly stomach my food just thinking about that stuff. All around me I was seeing financial struggle, and the very thing that I professed was supposed to help others wasn’t even helping me. In many ways it was actually making things WORSE. It put pressure on my finances, my marriage, my health, and my mind. I stopped doing things that I really enjoyed, calling it a “sacrifice” that I could make and be able to do again when I finally “made it.” It was all a lie. I had a serious problem and I had no idea what it was, let alone what to do to solve it.

So, I stood up from that table and wandered over to the exit – almost forgetting to pay my bill. When I jumped into my car, I made it up in my mind that this was the day.

This was the day I was going to put a gun to the temple of my network marketing business and end it all.

I arrived back home and headed straight for my computer. My head was swimming and my throat was very dry as I logged on to my Yahoo home page. I just happened to notice that I had an email from a girl that I had missed earlier. It was from Sandra Essex and the subject was “Monday Motivation.” For some reason, I decided to read that message. I don’t remember what it said, but I remember what it did:

It saved my business. She not only gave me hope, she showed me exactly what the problem was and included action steps to solve it. Where had she been all my networking life? No one knows this, but the amount of tears that I shed would have flooded all of heaven that day. Today, because of Sandra Essex, I’m experiencing genuine success in this industry. She taught me how to be a pro, and I owe her more than money could compensate. Now, I’ve dedicated my professional life to helping other struggling network marketers to climb down off that ledge that I was on back in February. The Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Thank you for watering my tree, Sandra.

CLICK HERE to hear my entire story as told by my wife in our audio, “From Agony To Glory:  An MLM Wife’s True Story”(She tells it better anyway)